A little compassion
Wanted to share an experience about compassion.
I have been trying to increase my overall awareness these days. Just being aware of whatever is in front of me is not an easy exercise for me, because my mind likes to dwell in the past, or paint beautiful (or scary) pictures of the future. How does one live in the present? I did not know how, but I started looking into myself about things that are dearest to my heart. One of the foremost characters that I am imbibed with (mainly due to my parents) is compassion.
A bit of background about my mother when it comes to compassion.
I grew up in Chennai, India, which is a hot and humid city. Added to that is a poor storm water drain system, which is still a mess as of today (Oct 2018)! That basically means lots of mosquitoes (especially during the rainy season). When I grew up in the '80s and early '90s in Chennai, the thing that irritated me the most was power cuts in summers. If I happened to wake up in the middle of the night, the ceiling fan wouldn't be running (we didn't have A/C then), so there were no breeze and no "hum" to put me to sleep. On top of that, the temperature would be around 88 deg F (31 deg C) at the middle of the night, with a humidity of more than 60%. And add mosquitoes to the mix! (If the mosquitoes couldn't land on you to suck your blood, they would play violin in your ears.) It was the worst nightmare for me growing up, and I was not even sleeping! I used to whine about it, but my mother never whined. My mother just said it was alright, and I could just use a mosquito repellent (Odomos) to ward off the mosquitoes. (I used to hate Odomos because it was sticky and I would be already soaking in sweat.) If I whined too much, she would just advise me to chant "Raamaa, Raamaa, Raamaa,..." (Ram is a Hindu God. In Tamil we call Him Raamaa or Raaman). And she exercised extreme restraint in swatting mosquitoes. (As a kid, I used to hunt and kill as many mosquitoes as I could and took pride in being the best mosquito hunter in the house.) What my mother was showing me was not something trivial. She was actually giving me the best education of my life - accept whatever is. Just that I was immature to receive the teaching. I am 40 now, and even now, I can't resist the temptation to swat mosquitoes with my bare hands. I sincerely pray to my (late) mother to give me her level of tolerance and compassion some day.
My father is also a very tolerant and compassionate person. He has grown into a wonderful person over the years (he is 80 now). I share a great and deep relationship with him today. More on him in future posts :).
Coming back to 2018, I thought I should exercise compassion next time I was presented with an opportunity. So it happened that one fine Saturday morning, I was going about my chores and noticed a fly in our master bedroom. (Our home has mesh windows everywhere, but these flies have a way of finding their way inside when we open our backyard, garage or front doors.) The fly saw the beautiful morning light through a window and flew towards its freedom, but it couldn't see the mesh at all. It just kept hitting the mesh window again and again, and was stuck. I somehow happened to notice it. Glad that I didn't ignore it. I stopped my chore and thought how I could help that fly get out.
Till then, I never realized I could remove the mesh windows in our home. (We have been living in our present home for more than two years.) I saw two clips at the bottom of the mesh window, pressed them, and lo, and behold, I could remove the mesh window. The fly flew out the next second. That was joyful to watch :). (A few days later, I figured out how to put the mesh windows back in place as well.)
And then there was more...
We are very fortunate to have a beautiful view through our master bedroom window (through which I let the fly out), but unfortunately we don't have a balcony. It was my dream that some day I should be able to stand on a balcony and enjoy the view. I noticed that outside that window I had just opened, there was this little protruding structure. I thought it was kept only for aesthetic purposes. I didn't even know the structure's name. (Later I learned that it is called a Julian balcony (see here).) I realized it was pretty firmly attached to the wall. And I also realized that one can stand on it and it can handle 200 pounds or more. There is just enough room for two or three people to stand on it. I climbed out through the window into the balcony... I was amazed by the view. It was a beautiful day. The lush green outside our home was shining like emeralds. After enjoying the view for a few minutes, I called my seven-year old son and put him up on that little balcony. He loved it too. We had a blast! I shared the picture of my son standing in that balcony with some of my closest friends and family. It was a truly amazing experience. And I didn't spend even a single cent to enjoy it.
All those rich experiences came only because of slowing down and paying attention to what was happening right in front of me and being compassionate. Try it out next time and see what happens. If it doesn't work, keep trying until it works :-).
I have been trying to increase my overall awareness these days. Just being aware of whatever is in front of me is not an easy exercise for me, because my mind likes to dwell in the past, or paint beautiful (or scary) pictures of the future. How does one live in the present? I did not know how, but I started looking into myself about things that are dearest to my heart. One of the foremost characters that I am imbibed with (mainly due to my parents) is compassion.
A bit of background about my mother when it comes to compassion.
I grew up in Chennai, India, which is a hot and humid city. Added to that is a poor storm water drain system, which is still a mess as of today (Oct 2018)! That basically means lots of mosquitoes (especially during the rainy season). When I grew up in the '80s and early '90s in Chennai, the thing that irritated me the most was power cuts in summers. If I happened to wake up in the middle of the night, the ceiling fan wouldn't be running (we didn't have A/C then), so there were no breeze and no "hum" to put me to sleep. On top of that, the temperature would be around 88 deg F (31 deg C) at the middle of the night, with a humidity of more than 60%. And add mosquitoes to the mix! (If the mosquitoes couldn't land on you to suck your blood, they would play violin in your ears.) It was the worst nightmare for me growing up, and I was not even sleeping! I used to whine about it, but my mother never whined. My mother just said it was alright, and I could just use a mosquito repellent (Odomos) to ward off the mosquitoes. (I used to hate Odomos because it was sticky and I would be already soaking in sweat.) If I whined too much, she would just advise me to chant "Raamaa, Raamaa, Raamaa,..." (Ram is a Hindu God. In Tamil we call Him Raamaa or Raaman). And she exercised extreme restraint in swatting mosquitoes. (As a kid, I used to hunt and kill as many mosquitoes as I could and took pride in being the best mosquito hunter in the house.) What my mother was showing me was not something trivial. She was actually giving me the best education of my life - accept whatever is. Just that I was immature to receive the teaching. I am 40 now, and even now, I can't resist the temptation to swat mosquitoes with my bare hands. I sincerely pray to my (late) mother to give me her level of tolerance and compassion some day.
My father is also a very tolerant and compassionate person. He has grown into a wonderful person over the years (he is 80 now). I share a great and deep relationship with him today. More on him in future posts :).
Coming back to 2018, I thought I should exercise compassion next time I was presented with an opportunity. So it happened that one fine Saturday morning, I was going about my chores and noticed a fly in our master bedroom. (Our home has mesh windows everywhere, but these flies have a way of finding their way inside when we open our backyard, garage or front doors.) The fly saw the beautiful morning light through a window and flew towards its freedom, but it couldn't see the mesh at all. It just kept hitting the mesh window again and again, and was stuck. I somehow happened to notice it. Glad that I didn't ignore it. I stopped my chore and thought how I could help that fly get out.
Till then, I never realized I could remove the mesh windows in our home. (We have been living in our present home for more than two years.) I saw two clips at the bottom of the mesh window, pressed them, and lo, and behold, I could remove the mesh window. The fly flew out the next second. That was joyful to watch :). (A few days later, I figured out how to put the mesh windows back in place as well.)
And then there was more...
We are very fortunate to have a beautiful view through our master bedroom window (through which I let the fly out), but unfortunately we don't have a balcony. It was my dream that some day I should be able to stand on a balcony and enjoy the view. I noticed that outside that window I had just opened, there was this little protruding structure. I thought it was kept only for aesthetic purposes. I didn't even know the structure's name. (Later I learned that it is called a Julian balcony (see here).) I realized it was pretty firmly attached to the wall. And I also realized that one can stand on it and it can handle 200 pounds or more. There is just enough room for two or three people to stand on it. I climbed out through the window into the balcony... I was amazed by the view. It was a beautiful day. The lush green outside our home was shining like emeralds. After enjoying the view for a few minutes, I called my seven-year old son and put him up on that little balcony. He loved it too. We had a blast! I shared the picture of my son standing in that balcony with some of my closest friends and family. It was a truly amazing experience. And I didn't spend even a single cent to enjoy it.
All those rich experiences came only because of slowing down and paying attention to what was happening right in front of me and being compassionate. Try it out next time and see what happens. If it doesn't work, keep trying until it works :-).